Relationship Issues
Through individual therapy - Exploring what’s wrong, if you should stay or go, and what to do to make things better.
This isn’t the relationship you signed up for…
You’ve struggled through it, have tried to talk it through, or perhaps it feels hopeless so you end up swallowing your emotions and needs in the hopes that this will all blow over.
I’m here to tell you that you deserve 100% out of your relationship!
The quality of your relationship influences every aspect of your life for better or worse. Your mental health, stress levels, self-esteem, and even your physical health like heart condition and longevity.
What might make things hard to decipher at this point is the grey areas about your relationship; the fact that it’s not always bad. You might struggle with if this is a you problem, their problem, or a we problem.
However confusing, difficult, or scary your relationship is right now, it doesn’t have to stay this way forever. Read on to see how we can work together on this so you can know how to move forward with clarity and peace of mind.
Instead of giving in to resignation, defeat, or despair, let’s build a path forward.
Regardless of how long your relationship issues have gone on for, there is hope for a new chapter in your life. Sometimes we get clarity early on that the relationship is not worth saving because of abuse (financial, verbal, emotional, physical, mental, sexual, spiritual) and we need to explore how to stay safe while devising a doable exit plan; other times it’s about considering what your role is in improving the relationship such as building your communication skills, how you voice your needs and emotions, to how to understand your partner and his/her context so that new understandings and connections burst forth; or, maybe you’ve tried doing what you can and it’s about having conversations with your partner in a way that invites him/her to take more ownership and accountability for the relationship.
Regardless of the path taken, your decision to address the relationship issues is a worthwhile pursuit that will eventually lead you to increased life satisfaction.
Oftentimes, all it takes is one person to create a positive ripple effect in the quality of a relationship.
You’re not alone - Every relationship has it’s share of struggles.
Maybe you grew up in a home where your parents divorced and are fearful of this repeating in your marriage. Or perhaps you yearn to escape your relationship but the idea alone of leaving is terrifying. You wonder about all the barriers and safety concerns you might face.
If your relationship is safe and you want to work at it, we will explore all the ways you might create positive change. Instead of trying to control your partner or placing expectations upon them, we will go through the many ways you can be accountable for your contributions to the relationship. There is a difference between controlling and creating positive influence, the latter is what we will hone in on. Often, when you create positive influence your partner will feel more inclined and invited to participate in the healing and rebuilding of your relationship.
If your relationship is not safe (e.g., your partner has control and abuse issues, or toxic traits) and you want to escape we will map out what you need to feel supported and safe with this important endeavor. It can feel very isolating and lonely when you are trapped in an unhealthy relationship. We will start by assessing your current level of safety and work to structure added safety as needed. We will help you to restore your trust in yourself and the inherent dignity and self-worth you possess. As the work progresses, and as you arrive at the point where you are ready to leave, we will then create a doable plan of exiting that often includes additional community and family supports so that you don’t have to go it alone.
Whatever your path is, I’m here for you!
Could therapy actually work for you?
You might feel skeptical about how anything could help the state of your relationship at this point in time. In fact, maybe you feel like too much time has passed and it’s a lost cause. I’ve seen people start therapy with the same doubts as you and they end up achieving their goals of having a more fulfilling and well connected relationship. The only ingredients we need from you are willingness and accountability.
You might doubt how working on relationship concerns individually could change the state of the relationship. While sometimes it is necessary to do the work as a couple, individual therapy can help create the changes you strive for. Typically the results go one of two ways: you reach your goals and find that your relationship has recovered on the basis of what we’ve worked through in therapy; or, your relationship hasn’t changed on account of your individual therapy goals but now have clarity on next steps, such as couples therapy or exiting the relationship.
Or, your partner is abusive and invites you into feeling immobilized and hopeless. It’s normal to feel hopeless, but it’s not your forever fate! In my 10 years of providing therapy, I’ve worked as a “Violence Against Women (VAW")” therapist helping women recover from the effects of abuse and supporting them on their desired path which sometimes involves leaving the relationship. I have also worked as a "Partner Assault Response (PAR)” therapist helping abusive partners to become accountable and safe in their relationships. Change for a safe and fulfilling future is more than possible!
Food for thought.
I’ve helped 84% of the people I’ve worked with.
It’s not a lifetime commitment. Most people average 5-6 sessions.
There are no side effects.
The benefits from therapy stay with you for a lifetime.
My experiences with relationships…
In addition to my professional history helping people navigate their relationships, I know well the joys of a fulfilling relationship in the life I share with my wife of 11 years. While everyone’s relationship is unique, I can appreciate the work and challenges that are a part of maintaining and enjoying a healthy relationship.
As a male, I am delighted to offer a safe space for other men to confide in me and talk through things that often aren’t a part of the conversation after hockey or in the lunchroom at work. I want you to know that I have nothing but respect for your aspirations to create a more fulfilling relationship.
I am also delighted to offer a male perspective to women looking to navigate relationships when they are having difficulty understanding their partner and his needs. While I can’t speak for all men, I do enjoy giving insights that can help open up the relationship in productive and healthy ways.
Wherever you are at with your relationship issues, I’m here for you to be your confidant and guide on the path to a more fulfilling future!
