People Pleasing
Reclaim your identity, self-worth, & boundaries for when your superpowers backfire on you
You thought this is how life is supposed to work…
You show up and make a difference, you’re the dependable friend, the partner who takes on the extras, the one who stays late at work…
But you’re done with staying the course - You are done with:
Indecisiveness
The inability to say “no”
The inability to handle other people’s bad opinions
Unexplained resentment
Ignorance of your limits
Low self-esteem
Shouldering undeserved blame
Masking
Pouring from an empty cup
Busyness
You’ve bottled up your feelings and needs for too long and are longing for confidence, self-respect, and fulfillment.
If only everyone else could be as thoughtful as you! There’s hope we can make life better without waiting for others to change…
The solutions to people pleasing are many and varied. There’s plenty of hope for you that the people pleasing tendencies can be addressed. It can be incredibly hard to advocate for your needs, let alone voice your wishes to others. The fear of upsetting others or experiencing judgment and conflict are heavy barriers to face alone. It’s my pleasure to work with people like you to overcome these barriers in order to have fulfillment in your everyday life. The very act of connecting in therapy is centered around your needs and values, through conversations tailored to your sensitivities and values without judgment. Therapy is often a very powerful experience for people pleasers because you rarely, if ever, get to say out loud what you actually think and feel.
You’re not the only one …
Research indicates that roughly 50% of people struggle with people pleasing tendencies. In our hyper-connected world, there are multiple forces that invite people to become preoccupied with being liked and with pleasing others. Sometimes it’s related to temperament, but there are times when it’s related to childhood trauma, or because you find yourself with a controlling/abusive partner.
While the idea of overcoming people pleasing might feel scary, countless people like you have succeeded in this pursuit and find a confidence in themselves they’ve never had before.
Imagine yourself at home, out with friends, or with your partner and having a quiet confidence about you. Picture yourself being faced with a decision and simply making a choice without agonizing over what others might think about it! Have you considered how much energy is consumed by people pleasing? Most find that it takes up so much headspace, emotion, energy and time. There is a whole new life waiting for you on the other side of people pleasing!
We’ve all heard the phrase “you don’t have to do it alone.” My belief is we’re not meant to go it alone - Let’s confront this together!
Could therapy actually work for you?
It’s hard enough feeling chronically guilty, obligated to numerous people and requests, and fearful of confrontation. The idea of working with a therapist might seem like yet another stressor on a long list of things that suck up your energy.
Our conversations will be tailored to help you feel comfortable enough to explore your feelings, needs, and goals. Similar to learning anything new, we won’t stay in the shallow end for the entire time - as you learn tools to be more assertive, feel your worth and confidence, and ground yourself in your values the process of reaching your goals will not only become more obtainable but feel more natural. Many people pleasers find that simply having a judgment and conflict free space to process helps them tremendously. Sometimes we don’t know what we know until we say what we know!
Having an hour in your week to connect with an empathetic and skilled professional who’s devoted to your wellbeing is a very different type of connection than what you are likely used to. Even after therapy concludes, most people continue to benefit from the work and have a level of satisfaction in their relationships, work, and sense of self that carries far into the future.
Play the odds & Invest in YOURSELF
I’ve helped 84% of the people I’ve worked with.
It’s not a lifetime commitment. Most people average 5-6 sessions.
There are no side effects.
The benefits from therapy stay with you for a lifetime.
My experiences with people pleasing…
People pleasing isn’t all bad, there are many admirable things about helping others, being thoughtful, and taking up causes when others remain on the sidelines. I know this well because I also wrestle with this balancing act myself. I get how confusing it can be, how much of a silent struggle it is, and how people pleasing can often be reinforced by those around you (including the ones you love). I will never dismiss your struggle. I will listen to you, learn what safety is on your terms, work to create that in the work, and provide you with the space to get to know the real YOU. When you preface statements with “this might sound bad” or “I don’t know if I should say this” I will encourage you to lean in without apology, guilt, or obligation.
Whether it’s through a screen, over the phone, or walking along a trail side-by-side, there’s nothing more I enjoy than connecting with people like yourself. Don’t be surprised if there are tears, laughter, and moments where you feel that subtle buzz when a connection is made.
I see you and want you to know that you are worth it!
